March 3, 2021

Pothead Gummy Worms

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Pothead Gummy Worms

The Pennsylvania-based company Kalan LP, a distributor of novelty items like inflatable beer pong games and shot glasses that say “You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin,” is now distributing a line of marijuana-shaped candies, and it’s blowing up a storm among the right. Which got me thinking that this isn’t the first time we see candy smokes.

When I was a kid there was probably the last penny candy store about three blocks from our elementary school. Every day at lunchtime, we would go and get our daily sugar fix — JujuBees, licorice, Pothead Gummy Worms, Pop Rocks, and Bit-O-Honey were all popular, but the candy that was most coveted were the candy cigarettes and bubble gum cigars.

Pothead Gummy Worms

The bubble gum cigars came in pink, yellow and green and had little owls on the cigar bands, which were a bonus — after the gum was done, you could wear the little paper band like a ring.

The cigarettes came in packs like the real thing and were available in two kinds — little hard sugary ones that no kid liked and the gum kind which had a little bit of powdered sugar on the tip. Pothead Gummy Worms, That powdered sugar allowed you to blow out “smoke”. Yes, we pretended that we were smoking cigarettes and cigars.

We also had little bottles of syrup for sale that looked surprisingly like the bottles of Absolut you get on an airplane. And candy pills in little fake prescription bottles.

These candies are long gone from the market, Pothead Gummy Worms, banned by militant mom groups and religious organizations who probably feared that by eating candy fakes, we would turn into little cigarette smoking degenerates.

The

new marijuana-shaped candies on Kalan LP’s wholesale site are available in Potheads Sour Gummies

($2 per bag), Pothead Lollipops ($1 each), and Pothead Ring Pops ($1.50

each). They are all sour apple flavoured, by the way (not pot flavoured).

The candy is clearly designed to be sold in novelty stores like Spencer

Gifts and not the corner candy store (if any still exist).

You’ll probably find them on a shelf next to the penis candy pops and

boob pasta that sell as novelties, not at the checkout aisle at Publix.

That doesn’t stop militant moms and over-zealous politicians from

rushing to boycott the products. Fox News has reported that the city of Buffalo is particularly up in arms over the candy.

Andrew Kalan, president of Kalan LP, said he was surprised that there’s

so much buzz about the candy, which has been on the market since

January 2011.

He told me that, while he couldn’t divulge what stores sell the pot-shaped

sweets, the candies were marketed as novelty items.

“Toys R Us isn’t beating down our doors to order these,” he said.

Kalan, a father of three children, said his kids have seen the candy and

he’s actually used it as an opportunity to start a dialogue about

drugs.

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