Défoncé cannabis chocolates come in a variety of fun flavors such as matcha, mint milk chocolate,... [+] extra dark, and more. Beyond that, boxes come in either 18, eight, or two servings.
Photo: Défoncé Chocolatier
I’ve had lower back issues for several years now. And as I’ve written before, only cannabis has really helped with my condition. Think: No NSAIDs or any other kind of pain killer for more than a year—and I’ve still been able to live my life sans physical limitations, indulging in activities that once would’ve had me fretting over potential flareups.
But of course, there are a million and one ways to consume cannabinoids—whether you’re going for THC, CBD, or a combination of both. (I recommend taking both.)
Tinctures, bath bombs, gummies, gum drops, taffy, balms, body oils, sublingual strips, vapes—you name it and chances are I’ve had them all. (My philosophy is to try everything thrice. And if you really don’t like an experience after your third attempt, then there’s a 99.99 percent chance it’s just not for you.)
So after months of traveling to states where recreational cannabis is legal (and spending mucho dineros during the research process), I’ve discovered that chocolate is my preferred delivery method. And why not? Many bars are delicious. They’re easy to transport. The fun packaging always gets me—because I’m shallow that way. Plus they feel perfectly normal. Case in point: Eating a single square out of a candy bar is infinitely more convenient than taking a vial of tincture out of your purse, tilting your head back, and using a dropper to ensure the oil lands right under your tongue. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you can do when you work in a stuffy open-plan office, correct?
Just a word of caution: Don’t overdo it with the chocolates and don’t consume more than the recommended dose. We’re talking about THC, which is psychotropic. And edibles take longer for the body to process, so immediate results are not to be expected. Wait at least two hours to feel either a body or head high. You want to feel good and pain-free. What you don’t need is to lose your mind or get paranoid over nothing.
On a less serious note, not all cannabis chocolates are fit to eat. At least not if you want them to taste good. Some brands truly need to work on their R&D in terms of flavor. So here are a few quality THC chocolate edibles that I’ve tried and tested—and are worth the money.
DIXIE BIRTHDAY CAKE (8MG PER PIECE)
Dixie’s Birthday Cake white chocolate bar with sprinkles is my all-time favorite—hands down. What’s not to love? It tastes like vanilla frosting without being overly sweet. And it’s just fun and festive. Beyond that, it delivers a good dose per square (8mg). Not too strong. And by all means, not too weak. While it doesn’t indicate whether it’s a sativa- or indica-dominant hybrid, I suspect that there’s more indica in it. In my experience, when consuming Birthday Cake, I feel a general mellowness coursing through my body—nothing cerebral at all. Often, I cut up each square into quarters, and microdose. It’s a good way to feel mellow and physically loose without needing to take a disco nap. And if you’re an environmentalist, you may be pleased with the fact that Dixie launched its Go Green initiative and partnered with One Tree Planted, a nonprofit that works with reforestation organizations around the world to get trees in the ground.
DÉFONCÉ CHOCOLATIER EXTRA DARK CHOCOLATE (5MG PER PIECE)
I equate Défoncé as the Hermès of chocolate edibles. It’s as “gourmet” as “gourmet” can get—in terms of chocolate, at least. I love the packaging. I love the variety of flavors. And I certainly love its just–right dosage. Pop one 5mg triangle (the bar is not divided into squares) and you’ll notice that there’s no real “high,” which I prefer. Instead, you feel a tad bit more chill than you were an hour ago and less of a New York neurotic. It won’t make you paranoid even if you eat two servings. It won’t give you the munchies. And it’s not going to make you sweat the small stuff. Long story short: It’s a feel-good bar that packs high–quality flavor. Had I not known that it was infused with THC, I would’ve had whole bars paired with my favorite Cognac.
MINDY’S DARK CHOCOLATE ALMOND TOFFEE (12.5MG PER PIECE)
I typically don’t experience a jetlag a lot. (And when I use it as an excuse to get out of some shindig, I’m probably lying.) I guess I’m just lucky that way. However, I do travel quite a bit and I’m rarely in my own apartment for longer than a month. And the handful of times I truly experience real jetlag, it’s always severe. And this is what I turn to when I need to get my body to rest for a full nine hours. It’s delicious with a satisfying crunch—and for some reason, it puts me down in less than an hour. Another bonus: I don’t wake up with the kind of hazy hangover sleeping pills almost always ascertain. I wake up, bounce out of bed, prepare my chai, and I’m ready to go. I do have one warning: Do not ingest this when you’re getting ready to watch Game of Thrones. You won’t make it through.
KIVA CONFECTIONS TANGERINE DARK CHOCOLATE (5MG PER PIECE)
I’m in it for the taste. And for how it makes me feel when I go for a six-mile run around Central Park or when I attempt to adequately complete arduous circuit training sessions. Way before I even considered using cannabis, I was all kinds of creaky whenever I went out for even a casual one-mile trot. I was also constantly nervous about my throwing my back out. But I’ve made a ritual out of consuming one 5mg square before each run—in addition to applying Wildflower’s CBD 300mg Cool Stick. And I’m happy to report that I’ve been free of any debilitating pain ever since.
SOMATIK THC CHOCOLATE COFFEE BEAN SPARKS (3MG PER PIECE)
I like to microdose. And that means taking just a wee bit whenever you feel like you need it. And reasons can vary. Some microdose to ease anxiety, make the most of their workouts, or to feel marginally better than they did prior. In my case, I microdose when I feel a pinch in my lower back or when I’ve been pummeled by an excruciating Krav Maga class. This is where Somatik Chocolate Coffee Beans come in. I take one piece (3mg) and I’m good to go. The brand also makes chocolate-covered goji berries, which are also fantastic—but the coffee beans help me stay sharp and on my toes all day long.
CHEEBA CHEWS INDICA CHOCOLATE TAFFY (10MG PER PIECE)
The first time I had Cheeba Chews, I was asleep within 45 minutes. It’s very potent, event with just 10mg per piece. I don’t know how that happened but it’s a godsend for whenever I’m too wired to hit the sack and snooze. And that’s all you need to know. At least these days, the company redeveloped its taffy so that they’re now available in single doses. (You used to have to freeze and cut one taffy into ten squares to get a 10mg dose.)